"Home of the Great Spirit"

"Damn it. There she goes - my prospect for a much needed rest."

But that was a cry of amusement rather than despair.

Even the sight of his sole shelter - the hiking tent - getting blown away by a strong gust had failed to evoke any serious despair or panic in him. The prospect of spending a lonesome night in freezing Mt. Washington without a tent would certainly not be very welcoming to any person with a sane mind. But on that fateful evening, he considered it just another mishap that was in tandem with the storm his mind was going through of late.

Mt. Washington is the tallest peak in the North Eastern USA. Although at 6,288 ft the summit was not particularly tall by the Himalayan standards, the hike in early November had proved to be quite arduous for him. The winter had set in early that year and the wind did live up to its reputation of being most erratic. As a matter of fact - on April 12, 1934, a weather observatory on the summit had recorded the highest wind gust directly measured at the Earth's surface - 372 km/h or 103 m/s. The native Americans had avoided climbing the summit and believed it to be an abode of spirits and named it Agiocochook -  "Home of the Great Spirit".

He was not much of an experiened climber. But, climbing Mt. Washington under most arduous conditions was a pilgrimage - perhaps that would help him regain the sanity he had lost. He had likened it to a pilgrimage the Hindus and the Buddhist  undertake to the Mt Kailash with the hope that it would purify their mind and bring them good fortunes.


An immigrant from India, he had lived in Chester County, Pennsylvania, with his wife and a five year old son. Theirs' was an arranged marriage. He was still recovering from the culmination of a long term relationship with his girl friend when he finally consented to his parent's suggestion to an arranged marriage with a decent girl of their choice.

Like most of the girls of India, she had entered into the marriage with an intention to start her life as a caring  wife and a daughter-in-law to his parents. But perhaps he was not ready for a married life. His actions, his treatments towards the newly wed wife lacked the warmth that a lover would offer towards a woman he loved - or perhaps even that of a husband towards a lady that deserved the due respect of a wife. There were moments when he noticed her moist eyes - but she never failed to provide the support  and care a loving wife and daughter-in-law would carry out. And that was not an act carried out because she had a "duty to fulfill" - it was an act that spontaneously resulted from someone who was truly in love and believed in making a family.

It took some time for him to really fall in love with her. He realized she was the best thing that has happened to him. Like most marriages - they had their share of fights and disagreements. But he realized he was with a woman he loved and trusted and who also shared the same feelings towards him. He felt deeply repentant towards the pains she might have gone through during the initial phases of marriage when his actions failed to reciprocate her showering of love and affection.

The decade long marriage had proved to be the most wonderful blessing of his life. He considered his family the pillar of his life and every aspect of his life revolved around it.

"The true meaning of joy" - he had started believing - "resulted from sharing the each and every moment of life with your family".

They would dearly looked forward to the evenings - when the family will reassemble after the day's engagement with work and school - to share their "moments" over their day. They would look forward to their week-ends when the family would get involved in activities surrounding their only son and with the a bunch of family friends they socialized with. Even after a decade of marriage, some time they would spend hours - till the wee hours in the morning - sharing the most mundane details of their life.  They never seemed to run out of topics to discuss.

However, of late, he was not in much of communication with his wife - other than the bare minimum logistical issues concerning home and child management.

Gone were the days when sounds of joy would reverberate across their little suburban abode. Gone were the days the stillness of the wee hours of the morning would be interrupted by the soft whispers of two souls engaged in sharing the smallest aspects of their life. Gone were the days when their souls - though separate in  physical existence - yet rhymed in unison.

An eerie silence replaced what used to be the sound joy between the two.

The root of all problems lay in the age of Indian system of dowry - which was prevalent from the north Indian province of India they hailed from. Unlike most of the arranged marriages, their wedding had taken place without any exchange of dowry - which his father was strongly against. 


But about two years back - in one of the family gatherings in India, one of his relatives - an elderly lady - made a derogatory remark against her about not bringing any dowry in presence of his mother, her mother-in-law. She expected her mother in law to stand in support with her. But her mother-in-law uttered no word.


To her - his mother failed to behave in a way that accorded the proper respect which she - the daughter in law of the family - deserved. That left her devastated and she turned to him to make his mother understand where she had failed.  It was not that she wanted to go in for a confrontation with her mother in law, but she wanted him to make his mother realize where she had erred. 

But true to his up bringing as a most obedient child, he was unable to  take a stand against his mother. In the traditional Indian value system - you are not encouraged to make a stand against your elders - especially against your parents. You may be in disagreement - but you do not take a stand. You protest in your mind. You do not display your resentment - that will be like showing your disrespect towards them.


He had failed to comprehend the degree of pain his his mother's treatment inflicted on her daughter in law. He was initially even in denial that his mother could offer such treatment towards her own daughter in law. He had considered it to be a utterly trivial incident which will be forgotten in due course.


But the wounds were much deeper than he realized. But his wife failed betrayed by her mother in law's treatment and his indifference.


He felt as if he was torn between the only 2 women that mattered the most in his life - his mother and his wife.


They gradually started to drift away.  The incident proved to be the sole thorn of a conjugal life where otherwise two souls had taken complete refuge in each other.


Then about three months back he discovered something quite accidentally that proved shattering to a mind already tormented by the drift that that had surfaced between him and his wife.


His wife had procured the new version of the iPhone that she left on the kitchen counter top when she had gone to take her shower. 


They had maintained no "element of privacy" in their relationship and used to share everything - even their email accounts. While playing around with various features of his wife's new phone, he accidently noticed a few email and text conversations between his wife and an "unknown gentleman" that had crossed the boundary of normal friendship. 


He realized that his wife had started relying on the "unknown gentleman"  more than him in the recent past for her emotional support.  He felt that he was no more the person she would share the mundane details of her everyday life -- his positional was being replaced by the "unknown gentleman".


He felt the earth shatter under his feet.


He did confront his wife over it. And she was as candid as she had always been towards him. She expalined that the "unknown gentleman" was a senior from the college days for whom she had an infatuation and apparently he shared the same towards her. But they never expressed that to each other. They got reconnected over Facebook recently and started exchanging notes.

She did acknowledge that in her weak moments – when he was not the most accommodating and understanding companion that she had always expected him to be  - they did exchange as few notes confiding the feeling they had for each other during the college days. It was nothing but reminiscent of the moments of infatuation they shared in the distant past. After all, she was just seeking some emotional support that she did not receive from her own husband – but with no other ulterior motive. In any case, there was nothing serious going between her and the “unknown gentleman" and it was just an avenue for letting her steam off.

She did retain hope that time will fade away the "cloud of doom and gloom" that is casting over their marital bliss. The “other gentleman” would no way come in disturbing their marital bliss - it solely rested on their own hands. That incident would have never happened had she not lost the faith and trust on him - for not standing up for her.  

His mind knew she meant every bit of truth. And he did acknowledge that such an incident is quite a normal reaction from any individual with wounded heart.


But his heart failed to accept it. His heart could not bear to see his position in her life overtaken by an "unknown gentleman".  

A shadow of doubt started haunting his mind over his wife's faithfulness towards him. He was not sure whether it was jealousy or the suspicion - but he realized the incident had contributed in drifting them even more.

That's when he decided he needed some time to get away from home - alone. Some place where he could go and explore his soul and listen to what it had to say. Some place that will rejuvenate his heart and fill with resolve to work on restoring his mind. 

He filled up his back pack with some late fall clothes, some dry food, a flash light and a hunting knife. He decided to carry his tent just in case he decided to do some camping - a favorite summer time activity of the family


He announced that he will be gone for a couple of days - for a voyage of self introspection.

He could see her eyes turning moist. She inquired with genuine concern if he had carried everything that he needed. But, thankfully, did not ask where he was headed. He was relieved that she did not - he himself did not know where exactly he would be heading for. 


She softly said - "Take care of yourself when you are gone. Hope this trip of provides you with all the solace you need".

As he started his car, he caught the glimpse her glancing through the window. Can a short trip of solitude really succeed in cleansing a mind clouded by the mist of suspicion? 


He wasn't sure. Neither was she.

After a good 2 hours of driving aimlessly in the back roads of Pennsylvania -- he decided may be Mt. Washington would not be a bad destination after all. Even in the middle of the Summer, it was by no means considered an easy climb. In the Winter it would  be certainly an even more difficult for novice climbers like him. But that’s exactly what he was looking for - an ardous expedition that perhaps would  offer a life altering experience.

He concluded - a life altering experience is what he needed - something that would help restore his soul and reassure him of the sole purpose of his existence - a blissful existence with his wife.

He realized the 'devil was inside his mind, not inside his soul'.

He had reached the Mt Washington area of New Hampshire after a good 9 hours of overnight drive. 

As the first light of the day appeared, New Hampshire greeted him with wonders of nature in abundance – picturesque rolling hills, snow capped peaks, streams with crystal clear water and colorful rock bed winding their way down the mountain slopes, lush green meadows, mesmerizing woods that have shed their leaves in preparation for the winter snow yet preserved their pristine looks. This was the same area where they had spent a wonderful one week in their much happier days. Both of them were ardent lovers of nature. Visiting the pristine national parks – far away from dins of human civilization – used to be their favorite vacation destinations.

A stream in particular had such mesmerizing appeal on him that it almost aroused his most primordial urge to seek its source – as if the source of the crystal clear water will also succeed in cleansing his mind. Upon consulting the GPS device in his Android phone, he figured that it will be one night and 2 days hike to reach its source and come back.

He parked his car in a nearby strip mall and started his hike along the stream. He carried enough supply of energy bars and waters to last through the hike. He planned to seek it’s source – camp by it over the night and then return to the parking lot for a homeward bound journey – hopefully with a fresh mind.

As he started his hike, the sun was slowly ascending to its zenith. Silver-grey boulders lay tumbled along the track. There was no sound of civilization but of the whispering winds and the monotonous yet gentle sound of the stream winding down the mountain. Underfoot the stones glistened with quartz.

The hike offered a raw exhilaration for his tormented soul. The arduousness associated with the steep climb was what he was looking for. There were times when the climb was almost at a gradient of 70 degrees. Then the gentle sound of the stream would change into a deafening roar. The wind, as was expected in the slopes of Mt Washington, was erratic, strong and chilly. As he reached the higher elevation of 5000 feet, the vegetation gradually changed from Alpine to Tundra – with bush type vegetation. Given the latitude of Mt Washington in far north, Tundra like vegetation appears at a much lower elevation than what you would expect in the Himalayas. The view from the mountain was astonishing – a landscape with rolling hills all over, deep gorges and small lakes bearing the legacy of the glacial activity from the last ice age, meadows spread over acres, alpine forests of the lower elevation.

It was almost evening when he finally reached the source of the mystical stream. It was a small lake which was perpetually supplied with water from the underground natural reservoir and snows that adorned the mountain.

He decided to pitch the tent before the nightfall.  As he unfolded the tent and was about to secure its strings on the ground, suddenly a strong gust of wind lifted up the tent and blew it over the deep gorge!

Luckily enough he still had his sleeping bag and the back-pack where he carried the dinner – few packs of energy bars and a bottle of brandy to keep himself warm.

Slowly darkness descended on the mountain and the chilly wind picked up its erratic velocity. As the darkness grew, the clear night sky adorned itself with bright twinkling stars but engulfed the mountain with a chill that he was not prepared with.  His light fall time clothing was certainly not warm enough to protect him from the chill and wind of Mt Washington.

He checked the thermometer app in his phone and it read 21 degrees Fahrenheit – well below the freezing point of 32 degrees Fahrenheit. He realized at that temperature when he is exposed to strong wind without the shelter of a tent,  it was imperative to stay awake if he had to survive through the night. If he fell asleep, he would almost certainly go into hypothermia and freeze to death.

He realized the need to stay awake and warm – though it would be a challenge after a tiring hike throughout the day and the long overnight drive. He flashed his flash light and looked for some dry branches and bushes to light up a much needed fire. He collected some dry branches and bushes and tried in vain to light a fire for nearly an hour or may be more. To his utter dismay and horror, he only managed to damage the cigarette lighter in the process. And that was the only instrument in his possession to light up the much needed fire for survival on the freezing mountain top.

He huddled tightly under his sleeping bag but was afraid he might lose his battle to stay awake. Hypothermia was a certainty if he fell asleep. He sipped some brandy to keep warm. But he realized he should not drink more than a sip or two.  The last thing you wanted was to get drunk and fall asleep.

He started to gaze at the stars and think of his wife and the kids. How he wished he could call his wife or send her a text expressing his love for her and the kids. But there was no cell phone signal in that area.

He proceeded to the stream to splash some cold water on his face to stay awake. 


As he was about to stoop with cupped hands to scoop some water from the icy stream, he suddenly felt the presence of a person standing in front of him.

He was startled. A person is the last thing he expected at that hour and place.

“Who are you? What are you doing here?” – he inquired while reaching out to his hunting knife incase of any adverse eventuality.

“I am Aha-ka-toon-ka – The Whispering Wind – of the Abenaki Indian Tribe. I am the medicine man and I have come here to look for certain plants that need to be collected at this hour of the night. I saw the flash light and realized there was some one who might need my help. You have nothing to worry from me – my son” – replied the man with a soft, assuring, kind yet a firm voice.

With his long hair, weather beaten face with a reddish tan, an aquiline nose and the traditional costume – he looked every bit of an elderly native American chief – the ones he had seen in doing powwow dances in the native American festivals and museums.  

Aha-ka-toon-ka presented such an aura of composure and kindness that he did not feel much threatened by the sudden appearance of an unknown person almost out of nowhere. Or perhaps he was in such a state of despair, he could not be threatened by anything anymore.  

“Excuse my ignorance. But I did not know there are native American reservations in this area” – he added.

“We have been always around and our spirits will always roam around these mountains – my son. We will always be around – physically and spirituality. In the great circle of life – no one enters and no one exits” – replied Aha-ka-toon-ka.

“I can see that you are struggling to light a fire to keep yourself warm. My son, you will definitely not survive the night without a fire and our native American skill will definitely come to some use in this regard.”

He watched in amazement as Aha-ka-toon-ka proceeded to light up a much needed fire using the tools his people had been using since time immemorial. As the medicine man was lighting up the fire, he started to recite an Abenaki hymn:

          Kassiwi  Niona  Enna  Odakozik  Chibaio  Agaskwikok

          Kizos   Aalakws   Nionakiya   Alnobanogan   Nionakiya

          ……

In the heart of the still dark night, the Abenaki hymn combined with the perpetual sound of the strong mountain gust created a mystical aura that pervaded through the deep gorges and ridges of the mountain.  “It is almost eerie yet a strangely wonderful feeling” – he thought.

Soon there was fire that provided the much needed comfort of warmth.

He offered Aha-ka-toon-ka some brandy which he politely refused saying – “My son. You do not need intoxication to keep yourself warm. The strength and conviction of your heart can provide you with all the energy you need to keep your mind strong and warm. Conviction alone will provide you with all the warmth you need in your mind to fight this chilly gust on the mountain top or the gust that is tormenting your soul. Just listen to your heart and act on it.”

“How would he know? Is he reading my mind or something?” – he wondered.

“My son – consider me as a reflection of your own destiny and inner thoughts. Your thoughts are what that makes your world. You are a slave of your thoughts. You need to listen to your heart to free yourself from your thoughts that is blinding your mind.”

He was taken aback. “This medicine man definitely is definitely reading my mind.” – he thought.

“When in times of trouble, we native Americans, have always looked into the nature for answers. Look into the stars, listen to the rhythm of the winds, the forceful flow of streams winding down the mountain slopes, the flight of the great eagle. Wah-kan-taw-wah has created all elements of this great nature with a perfect harmony and the book of nature is the greatest source of all wisdom – my son. This book of nature has undergone countless revisions since creation and if you try to read read the signs in this wonderful book - you will find answers to all your troubles”

He wasn’t sure how long they were engaged in conversation.  They talked about the Abenaki tribe, the history of New Hampshire, the arrival of the Europeans, the traditional medicine of the native Americans , the age old wisdom of the native Americans to look for signs in nature to seek solutions for any problems.

“Look my son”- Aha-ka-toon-ka pointed to the northern sky.

There he saw the beautiful northern lights – aurora borealis – lighting up the mysterious and magnificent light that was more spectacular than any man made light work he had ever witnessed.

He continued to watch the splendid marvel of nature in utter awe and appreciation. The splendid sight filled his heart and mind with such an ecstasy that he felt as if he has been bestowed with a new and profound enlightenment –to learn from the greatest source of wisdom - the book of nature. Look for signs in the nature. And clearly he is seeing one now – the colors of hope as reflected in the beautiful splendor of the northern lights.

He wasn’t sure how long he had been watching the wonders in the sky, but when he turned to thank  Aha-ka-toon-ka for the most wonderful words of wisdom he had ever learned – he realized that Aha-ka-toon-ka was gone.

Aha-ka-toon-ka disappeared as mysteriously just as he had appeared. From nowhere into nowhere.

By then, the dawn had broken and the sun appeared in the eastern horizon.

Elated with a sense of enlightenment and hope, he started his descend down the mountain to get to his car and the drive back home. He could not wait to get home – to his family which was always his greatest source of joy and love. He almost felt the same feeling which a teen ager had when he was going out on his first date.


All these while his cell phone had been switched off as he was outside the signal zone of the provider. When he reached the signal zone, he turned his cell phone on and found several text messages, emails and voice mails from her inquiring about his well being. But he decided not to call back. But get to home as fast as he could.

It was well past late evening when he reached his home. As he used the key to open the door, he found the house was engulfed in total silence. Heis son was already fast asleep on his room.

He saw the door leading to the master bath room was ajar and she was staring blankly at the mirror emerged in some thought.

He silently opened the door and offered her the most sincere hug. She reciprocated with an equal intensity.

They stood several minutes silently in each other’s arm. There was no need for any verbal communication. The deep and rapid breadth, the language of solitude said it all.

Two hearts rhymed in unison once more.  Or perhaps the rhythm had never ceased, it was only "his mind" that had blinded his soul from feeling it in those dreadful months.


Agiocochook  - "Home of the Great Spirit" – revived their spirits once again .

                                            --- The End ---

                                      The Abenaki Hymn

Kassiwi  Niona  Enna  Odakozik  Chibaio  Agaskwikok (With  We Who Visit Ghosts From)
Kizos   Aalakws   Nionakiya   Alnobanogan   Nionakiya (The Sun Star of Our Birth and in Our)
Awazsiswogan   Enni   Taolani    Agaskwikok   Noesal   Niona (Infancy   Which   Is   from  the Land  of)
Kizosaltoalakws  Taolawisi  Maskozisis  Taolwisi  Nolka  Moz (The Rising Star as Long as the Deer  and 
                Moose Shall Run Free and the Grass Shall Grow)
Sibo Ikok Pon Tekw (And  the Rivers  Run Swiftly  the Abenaki Shall Survive)
Wobigid Sanoba Magigwogan (The Wicked Spirits Treason)
N'mahomios Chibaio (Against Our Grandfathers Spirits)
Amikimek Pmegamek   Agakidozik (Have Given Us Guidance and Wisdom to

Rise and Come Together to Dance  We Have Been Taught)

Kazaldozk  Nigawes  Spemki   Toldalozi  Nosokazik (To Love  Mother   Earth   and to Respect Her)
Niona Aho Wobenakiak   Kizos Posiwaganogan (We Are the Children of  the Dawn the People)
Wobenakiak    Mozmozik Odiozon (Of the East  May the Great Spirit and)
Kinikinik  Volcanda  Kottliwi   Kwahliwi Tapsiwi (The Great Creator Bless  Us and Smile upon Us)

Love letters with Malabika Bora (purely fiction)

As the taxi approached Guwahati railway station, he could almost hear the sound of his own heart beat. He could not help wondering - "How would she look? How would her voice be? Would she be as pretty in appearance as her writings make her out to be? How old would she be?"

He was going to meet someone who had already conquered his heart through her mind. But he never had a glimpse of her sight. He had not even heard her voice.

It all started about two years back when he was taking a train from New Delhi to Jammu. After a short training in New Delhi, he was heading for Jammu to join his army unit. As he climbed on to his upper bunk for a good nights' rest, he found a small hand written note book. Obviously some earlier passenger had left behind - he figured. As he casually flipped through the pages - he was fascinated by the soft, artistic calligraphy like hand writing and some beautiful sketches. As he started exploring further, he realized that it was the scrap book of a poet and an artist with an extremely insightful and creative mind. Each work - poetry or sketch - painted a picture that touched the core of his heart and mind. He was almost mesmerized by the works of the owner of this note book. The first page revealed the name of the owner -- Malabika Bora, Guwahati.

In these days of the internet, it is not really very difficult to track down a person once you do know the name and the city. A search on the internet revealed couple of Malabika Boras from Guwahati with email addresses. He contacted each of them through emails to inquire if she had left behind note book in a train. One of them replied back with a confirmation that it was her who indeed had left behind a note book and would be grateful if he could arrange to send it over to her address in Guwahati by post.

He sent the note book over to her along with a letter of introduction and a request to maintain correspondence with him through the old fashioned surface mail. In emails and text messages after all you would not be seeing her beautiful handwriting. She did comply with his request. For past 2 years they communicated through countless surface mails -- in the very old fashioned way. They decided not to exchange their phone numbers or photographs.

"Let our looks and our voice remain a mystery to us. After all mystery is what makes your imagination run wild."

Through the mails -- with each word and sketches -- they opened up to each other. And they realized how much they have in common - their views on life, on the world, the nature, the music , the poetry, you could go on and on. With each letter their romance blossomed. Finally they decided that it was the time to meet each other in person.

The rendezvous was scheduled on the first Friday of October 2011. They agreed to meet at 7:00 PM in Guwahati railway station waiting room and then they will head out to a cozy restaurant of her choice for a nice dinner. He carried a ring in his pocket with the full conviction that he will love her looks as much as he had loved her mind. He will be wearing his army uniform and she will be carrying a red rose in her hand.

As he reached the waiting room of the railway station, his adjusted his military cap and studied the crowd for a girl who could possibly resemble Malabika - a girl with a red rose in her hand. Then he saw a girl in mid twenties with an extremely pleasant demeanor wearing a light blue saree which perfectly complemented the lissome figure she was endowed with. Her eyes were bright and intelligent, her fingers were long and artistic - the ones that seemed perfectly capable of creating those beautiful sketches and calligraphy which had captivated him for last 2 years. Like him, her eyes seemed to be searching for some one in the crowd. Her appearance seemed to be the Malabika he had visualized all these months.

He was so certain than this is the woman he had come to meet, he did not even bother to look out for the red rose in her hand. He started walking towards her.

Their eyes met and she started to walk towards him. As he landed each step towards her, his excitement grew and he started rehearsing the act he had planned - an act that befits an army captain.

Then she walked right past him without any greeting or a second glance.

Right then he spotted Malabika. There, at the other end of the waiting room, she stood with a red rose in her hand. She would be at least ten years elder to him with with an appearance which was not what he had expected in Malabika. She was dressed rather casually with an old fashioned saree and wore an expression which he was not expecting from a lady who was about to meet her love for the first time.

His heart sank. How he expected the girl who walked past him was Malabika instead of this woman.

But then there she was standing with a red rose in her hand waiting for someone whom she had already won over through her insightful mind.

"Well may be she does not have the looks what I was expecting. But nevertheless she is still the owner of the mind that I love." -- he thought.

As rehearsed in his mind - he offered the best army salute he could manage and said - "Hello. This is Captain Utpal Brahma of the 5th Gorkha Regiment. You must be Malabika Bora. May I have the honor of asking you out for a dinner?"

The lady responded with a pleasant smile and said - "Well Officer. I do not what you youngsters are up to. It was the girl with the light blue saree who persuaded me to stand here with the red rose she handed me. Also she told me that if an army officer does ask me out for a dinner, then I should tell him that Malabika is the girl in blue saree and she is waiting for you right outside the entrance and she would love to go out with you for a dinner."

As he thanked the lady and turned around to meet Malabika by the entrance, the lady remarked from behind - "All the best officer.  Enjoy your dinner.  I am her mom."

The Last Kiss

“Wake up honey! It is 7:30 already.” – Jonali uttered softly as she herself struggled to resist the temptation to prolong the pleasure of idling on their comfortable bed on a Saturday morning. It is especially hard to even think of abandoning the early morning pleasure after you have done a late night catching an hour long episode your favorite thriller from the comforts of your bed on the wide screen Apple iMac placed strategically in front of your bed with the sole purpose of indulging in digital entertainments on Friday nights.

Over the last couple of weeks, it has become a Friday night ritual for the Sakias’ to catch the latest episodes of “Twenty Four” on Hulu.com after the children have retired to bed. The week days are too hectic even to think of switching on the T.V. other than a quick news update from the CNN headlines. Ranjan has to wake up by 5:00 AM every weekday to catch the 6:00 AM NJ Transit train from Princeton Junction to New York Penn Station. He starts his day early so that he can be in time to pick up the children from after care which closes sharp at 6:00 PM. It is usually Jonali, who prepares the kids – eight year old Varun and four year old Pawan - and drops them to school by 8:00 AM before she proceeds to her work, a good 45 minutes drive. By the time she makes it back from work at 7:00 PM, Ranjan usually warms up the dinner and ensures that the kids have taken their shower. If that by itself is not hectic enough, twice a week Varun has to be driven for his soccer practice. By the time the Saikias’ are done with helping the kids with home work, dinner and the other daily chores, it is already 9:00 PM – the time you get ready for the next day and retire - a typical suburban American life for 2 working parents with young children in New York/ New Jersey area.

“But today is Saturday” – protested Ranjan as he struggled to open his eyes.

“But honey, do not forget that you are driving Varun for his soccer game at 9:00 AM and I have to drive Pawan for his first swimming lesson at the YMCA. Then in the afternoon we are going to the Stewarts’ for the barbecue party. Before that you need to cut the grass in our yard while I do the laundry for the week.”

“Well, that’s right. I almost forgot. With Pawan’s initiation to the cycle of never ending activities, gone will be the days of leisurely week-end morning” – remarked Ranjan as he struggled to prepare himself to face the beginning of a new weekend – which often prove to be more hectic than the weekdays.

Despite of having to abandon the prospect of a laid back week-end, he actually quite enjoyed playing the role of an involved dad and a supportive husband. They looked forward to their weekends which were mostly devoted to activities concerning their children – such as sports, music lessons, attending birthday parties of friends of their children or friends and the usual household works such as yard work, weekly cleaning and laundry, cooking for the whole week so that during the week they can survive on micro waved food straight out of the refrigerator. Ranjan and Jonali were also fairly active in the social circle in the tri-state area – where they maintained a large circle of close friends and involved themselves in various activities concerning the south asian scociety. Ranjan’s friends from college days expressed their pleasant surprise when they visited him - “Who could have ever imagined the wild Ranjan could ever be domesticated! Credit certainly goes to Jonali!!” – they remarked when they had a glimpse of his suburban life style - a moderately successful “perfect couple” with two very well mannered kids, a nicely maintained single family house in suburban settings of West Windsor, NJ with a well maintained yard, a BMW 350i and a Honda Odyssy – often considered as testimony that you have finally resigned to your fate as a “soccer parent” – a metaphor for over enthusiast parents whose life was centered around ferrying their kids to plethora of activities .

“Go ahead Varun. Have fun at the game and make sure to get some hard shots at the goal. ” - encouraged Ranjan as he reached the soccer field with Varun in their minivan. Jonali had taken the BMW to the YMCA with Pawan.

“Sure will dad. See ya after the game” – said Varun as he ran to join his team in the warm up with his team before the start of the game. Today they will be playing against the township of South Brunswick.

It was a good fifteen minutes before the start of the game and Ranjan decided to catch up with his personal emails while waiting for the game to start. He pulled out his latest toy – the Motorola Droid 2.2. He started scrolling through his gmail account. There were mostly the usual spam mails, bank statements, the usual emails notifications from facebook announcing updates from friends and an evite for another birthday party at the Chukee Cheese. Then he scrolled over to the next page and noticed the name of a particular sender that sent a cold shiver down his spine.

It was from Priyanka Arora with just “Hi” as the subject line. He quickly opened the email which read:

“Hi Ranjan,

Glad to discover your email id and contacts. It’s been ages. How have been you? Would love to reconnect.

Love Priya”

Priya! The Priyanka Arora!! After fifteen years!!!

He vividly remembered the day when he chanced upon Gautam and Priya in the Park Street area of Calcutta. It was his second day in Calcutta after a short stint in Delhi as a trainee in Anderson Consulting. He was hired by Anderson Consulting as a management consultant from the campus of Indian Institute of Management, Bangalore – where he pursued an MBA after his engineering from Indian Institute of Technology, Kanpur.

“Abbey Saley! What on earth you doing in the middle of Park Street in Calcutta!” – he was surprised with a hard smack on his back as he was buying a packet of Gold Flake Classic.

He turned back to find Gautam – his batch mate from engineering with a young girl – in early twenties. She was in a loose fitting black and white stripped top, a black tight skin hugging seamless legging and a black studded peep toe pump hills that added a good 3 inches to her 5 feet 7 inches frame. She sported a curly weave hairstyle and her frosty pink finger nails were painted to match her lips. She appeared to be in the habit of tossing her from time to time with a deliberate attempt to create a hip image.

“What a pleasant surprise! And may I reciprocate with the same question to you?“ – retaliated Ranjan.

Gautam updated that he had been working for Tata Consultancy Services and was posted in Calcutta for last one and half years.

“And meet my girl friend Priya – Priyanka Arora.” Priya was doing her final year engineering in Jadavpur University.

“Parents are in Dubai – where my father runs a business. I am in the hostel and on wonderful evenings like this, Gautam keeps me company!” – declared Priyanka.

Well, that explains the imported wardrobes – thought Ranjan.

Gautam was known for his “skill” in charming the members of the fairer sex right from his engineering days. While most of the batch mates from Kanpur suffered from the “butterfly in stomach” syndrome when it came to making the first move towards members of the opposite sex - Gautam often exercised his superior “skill” in getting the most “kills” from the female contingents during the annual cultural festival “The Culfest” at IITK.

“And what’s your plan for the evening? If you are free, why don’t you join us over a nice dinner and a few drinks at Peter Cat, just down the Park Street.” – invited Gautam.

“Well, come on yaar. I don’t want to spoil your party. Besides I have a meet a few agents to look for an accommodation” – responded Ranjan with a half hearted manner.

“Spoiling our party - not at all! We insist. Besides I do not mind being in the company of two hunks with brains to match as well. After all how often you get to dine and wine with the IIT-IIM types, you know” – joined Priya with a flirtatious smile on her lips.

Gautam and Priya appeared to be quite a regular at Peter Cat. Ranjan knew exactly what to order. “They serve the best Chicken Irani Kebab in the whole wide world here” – declared Ranjan as he ordered the choicest Peter Cat delicacies with Kingfisher beer to wash it down.

“Well, why don’t we share the flat I am renting at Salt Lake” – suggested Gautam as he took another bite from his platter of the famed kebab. “It is a nice two room flat with the necessary amenities. The other room has been lying vacant ever since Rajesh moved out for his new assignment to Singapore. We can share the rent. It also saves you the trouble of dealing with these rental agents.”

Well, not a bad proposition – thought Ranjan. He was new to the city and the company of an old batch mate from college days would certainly help him getting a good start in a new city he was not too well familiar with. Gautam was not exactly his closest friend from IITK, but they both were in the institute soccer team and in mechanical engineering.

By the time the three had finished their evening of wine and dine, it was decided that by Saturday Ranjan will check out of his temporary accommodation at his company guest house and move into Gautam’s rented apartment at Salt Lake.

Ranjan hired a cab to proceed to his company guest house while Priya and Gautam left for Gautam’s Salt Lake apartment in 100cc Hero Honda motorbike.

“My hostel gate closes by 8:30 PM and on evenings like this I have no choice but extend my party at Gautam’s” – winked Priya with a mischievous smile.

In the next few months Ranjan remained occupied with his assignments from Anderson Consulting. He was engaged in couple of consulting assignments at Jamshedpur and had to make frequent trips to his clients. He often found Priya in Gautam’s company at their apartment, where she spent her most of her weekends and even some nights during the week days.

Gautam and Priya often teased Ranjan about his lack of a love life and questioned whether he intended on breaking his celibacy any time soon. Priya often asked if Ranjan would be interested exploring relationship with some of her friends. Ranjan was introduced to couple of Priya’s friends and on a number of occasions the four did venture out to the popular hangout joints the city had to offer on double dates. But for some reason or other, Ranjan did not feel the desire to pursue any of the relations beyond first one or two double dates initiated by Gautam and Priya.

“So when do you plan on getting married to Priya?” – Ranjan asked Gautam one day.

“Marriage? Now? Come on! We are just getting to know each other. I want to have some fun and explore the world before I settle down. ” – replied Gautam.

Gautam’s answer did not utterly surprise Ranjan. Ranjan always doubted whether the either of them were really for a long term commitment at that stage of their life.

“I hope you guys are being careful. After all you do not want to make someone pregnant unless you are committed.” – replied Ranjan.

“Do not worry. We both are quite careful and do take the necessary precautions. What would you know anyways?”

Ranjan flashed a faint dry smile – a smile of amusement in disagreement. It was not that it was his resolve to maintain celibacy until the floral night following the nuptial tie in the best traditions of Indian culture – but he believed in reserving the act of first love making for someone he was absolutely sure to commit for a long term relationship – preferably a lifelong. He cherished for a partner who would treasure each and every moment of their first union and would enjoy recalling those moments at the twilight years of their life – the same way you enjoy opening the pages of an old album with someone who shared the same nostalgic moments which is captured in those pages of the album.

Couple of months rolled by and it was April – the season when Assam celebrates New Year through festivities of mesmerizing bihu dances and cultural functions. Ranjan decided to visit Guwahati to be with his family to join them in the Rongali Bihu festivities. When he returned to Calcutta after 2 weeks of vacation, he found a note in his apartment in which Gautam announced that he was leaving his job in TCS and was proceeding to the US on H1B through another company. “Everything happened very suddenly and I had to join the client within a week. So bye for now. Will send my contacts later.”

The next day was very hectic at work. While coming back to office after attending a meeting with his client, the office receptionist remarked with an inquisitive smile – “So Ranjan, what’s going on? There were five calls from some Priyanka Arora. She insisted that it was very important that you meet her after work.”

“Poor girl. Must be feeling sad and depressed after Gautam’s sudden departure to the US” – thought Ranjan.

After his work his work, Ranjan proceeded to Jadavpur University girls’ hostel to meet Priya.

Ranjan observed Priya as she started walking from the hostel corridor towards the visitors’ room beyond which male visitors are not allowed. With disheveled hair and a plain light green salwar kameez and a very little make up, Priya presented a very different look from the usual hip look she likes to portray.

“Can we go out for a coffee or something? I need to talk to you about something very serious.” – Priya requested.

“Sure. Of course.” – responded Ranjan wondering what could the graviy of the seriousness be.

Over a cup of coffee, Priya declared that Gautam had never contacted her before he left the town.

Ranjan was surprised. He had stopped holding Gautam in high esteem after having lived as an apartment mate in the last couple of months, but this was beyond what he had expected out of Gautom.

“So how did you find out?”

“Well, when he did not call me at the hostel and did not drop by for his usual visits, I went down to his office and learnt that he has resigned from his work and left the town. Then I went to the apartment and gathered from your landlord that he has left for the US. I was wondering if you have his contacts.”

“Relax. I know you are missing him terribly. But I am sure he will contact you soon. He really had to leave and join his new assignment in a hurry.” – Ranjan tried to console Priya although he doubted his own word regarding Gautam’s anticipated action.

“Actually I am six weeks pregnant.” – declared Priya.

“Did Gautam know about your pregnancy?”

“He did. I had informed him over the phone. He said he would come down to the hostel and discuss what can be done. But he never came and now I learn he has left the city even without contacting me. Such a scoundrel! What would I do now? How would my parents react if they ever found out?” – Priya’s voice cracked as she uttered those words.

Ranjan genuinely felt sorry for Priya. A poor and helpless girl – dumped by her boy friend who happened to be his batch mate from college and an ex apartment mate.

“Does any one else know about your pregnancy?”

“No you are the only one.”

“Why don’t you come down to my apartment tonight? We can discuss and see what can be done. Besides right now you must be feeling pretty miserable and you should be staying with someone with whom you can at least talk.”

Priya readily agreed and Ranjan hired a cab to take Priya to the Salt Lake apartment.

They decided it was there was absolutely no point trying to contact Gautam since he has already shown his true colors. Becoming a single parent at that stage in life and in India at that time was out of question and so the only option left was to terminate the pregnancy through an abortion.

The next day Ranjan fixed an appointment with Marie Stopes Abortion Clinic. The appointment was for next Friday at 9:30 AM. It was decided that Ranjan would take a day off and Priya would rest at the Salt Lake apartment after the procedure.

The abortion day came and went by. And days rolled by.

Gradually Ranjan and Priya started spending more and more time together. Slowly Ranjan started discovering some dimensions of Priya that was shadowed under the hip aura she liked to paint for herself. The first was the mutual interest for fine works of English literature. It turned out that Priya was an avid reader – much like Ranjan. They would often discuss the works of Shelly, Hemingway and Nobokov. And the 1933 classic novel “The Lost Horizon” by James Hilton happened to be the childhood favorite book for both of them.

The other one was empathy for the people who needed to be helped. Priya, it turned out, often volunteered her service at Mother Teresa’s Orphanage.

Ranjan felt - beneath the hip and glamorous exterior, perhaps there is another Priya that seemed likeable and worth exploring.

One day while at work, Ranjan received a phone call from Priya. She wanted some help with Fluid Dynamics to prepare for her mid term exams. Ranjan offered to pick her up over the weekend and help her with whatever concepts of Fluid Dynamics he still remembered from his mechanical engineering course work at the IIT. After all, he had earned an honorable A in Fluid Dynamics.

As they were working on the Fluid Dynamics concepts, Ranjan noticed that Priya was not really focusing on the dynamics of fluid, but her mind seemed to ride the dynamics of a more biological kind.

“What would it be if one could read aloud what the other is thinking?” – suddenly asked Priya – almost in a deep whisper.

Ranjan knew exactly what Priya was hinting at. Her rapid breath, flickering eye lids and restless legs did little to hide what she could be desiring for – definitely not a lesson on Fluid Dynamics of the Mechanical Engineering kind.

“It would be really embarrassing” – he responded.

There was an uneasy calm that only seemed to arouse the burning desire of two souls who were no more interested in solving the differential equations of Fluid Mechanics. The stillness of the Saturday afternoon on that Autumn day was only disturbed by the echoing beats of distant drums for the forthcoming Durga puja and the resonating hum of the rapid breath produced by two souls at the prime of their youth. Ranjan did not recollect how long the solitude in proximity continued but did not resist when he found Priya made the first move with the aggression of a wild cat that succumbed to the basic instinct of desire that could no longer be contained by the thin curtain of self control.

Ranjan felt his heart racing faster than the NASCAR. A part of him wanted to give in to the desire – after all Priya was endowed with all the bounties of woman hood that a man could ask for. The other part of him was not so sure whether she is the one whom he wanted to bestow with the gift of his celibacy that he had resolved to reserve for someone he was sure commit for a long term relationship. There was a raging battle between his desire and his self imposed resolve. And ultimately it was his resolve that prevailed over his desire.

After that day Priya started drifting away. She would not return Ranjan’s phone calls. When Ranjan went to meet Priya at the hostel, the messenger would come back saying Priya is not in the hostel – which Ranjan had good reason to doubt.

And one day when he arrived at her hostel unannounced, he spotted Priya walking hand in hand with another man.

A few days later Ranjan received a short note from Priya which read:

"Dear Ranjan,

I have come to realize we are not compatible – chemistry wise. I consider biological compatibility as the corner stone of any relationship involving me. You have been almost like an angel to me. An angel too good to be a human. But I want a human with vices – not all virtues.

Priya"


GOOAAALLLLL !!!!!!!!
The reverie was suddenly broken when the West Windsor parents erupted with a loud applaud as the first goal of the match was scored.

“Did you see how Varun dribbled past 2 defenders to score the goal? Go Varun! Go!” – Mr. Anderson shouted with excitement. He was the coach of the West Windsor team.

“Yes of course! Wasn’t that a beauty! That’s my boy! Great goal Varun!” – joined Ranjan. Ranjan obviously lied. He was lost in thought and was not paying much attention to the proceedings of the game – which was very unlike him on other days.

He wondered what made Priya attempt to contact him after so many years. In all these years he had no clue about her whereabouts.

“Where on earth could she find my email id?” – he wondered – “but then – with little bit of googling it is not difficult to find anybody’s email id these days. But why on she wants to contact me now?”

Ranjan decided to delete the email from Priya without responding to it. He did not want Jonali to get any clue about this email from Priya.

Jonali was a perfect lover, very supportive wife and a wonderful mother to his children. She was definitely the kind of woman he had always cherished for – the kind of lady he with whom he would indulge in his first act of love, raise a family and would go old watching over the fruits love. There was only one thing he was afraid about Jonali – which was her extreme sensitivity and possessiveness about him.

Theirs was an arranged marriage. Soon after the note from Priya, he consented to his parents’ insistence on scouting an alliance for him through matrimonial network.

Jonali was the daughter of one of their mutual family friend. Their meeting was arranged during the next Rongali bihu festivities. Jonali had just finished her masters in chemistry from Delhi University and aspired to pursue a career in bio-chemistry. She also was a fine bihu dancer and was to present a solo bihu dance at the Latasil bihu function.

Ranjan came to know about Jonali’s program and decided to catch a glimpse of her performance before he went down to meet her formally at her residence along with his family members – which is how the first meeting of a prospective matrimonial alliance is supposed to happen.

At the bihutoli, pretty and petite Jonali was adorned in the finest muga mekhela chador (the Assamese sari) with matching traditional ornaments. Her graceful and lucid movements to the rapid beats of melodious bihu songs enthralled Ranjan and excited him to look forward to their formal meeting. Already impressed by her gracefulness at the bihu performance, Ranjan decided that unless there was some inexcusable reason as not to proceed with the alliance, he would offer his consent.

After their formal meet, Ranjan was equally charmed by the freshness of her innocence and her pleasant mannerism towards his parents and offered his full consent.

Jonali liked Ranjan as well, the families liked each other and soon they were engaged and tied the nuptial knot.

And soon they discovered love – which has only blossomed over the years.

But their relationship was not without its share of initial hurdles. Couple of months after their wedding, Jonali chanced upon a copy of the paperwork which he had to undergo when Priya was admitted to Marie Stopes for the abortion procedure. And quite naturally, Jonali suspected the most obvious.

Ranjan had not mentioned about the Priya episode to Jonali as he thought their relationship was too complicated to explain. It took a while before Jonali could take Ranjan into confidence and believe in Ranjan’s version of what actually had happened. But those days of uneasiness was not exactly what could be termed as the ideal “happy beginning”. Those fateful months of agony always remained as a dark spot in their otherwise fourteen years of a wonderful time together.

And that’s what drove a cold chill down Ranjan’s spine when he received Priya’s email. He dreaded even the tiniest prospect of reoccurrence of those unpleasant days.

“I will just ignore the email and she will stop trying to reconnect. Jonali will never get to know about it. May be she is half way across the world.”- Ranjan thought.

He tried to push the email incident out of his mind and proceeded with the rest of weekend activities as planned.

The next few days passed by without any incidents other the usual work-office-kid cycle.

Exactly eight days after the first email from Priya, Ranjan received the second email.

Ranjan was in the NJ transit train on his way to work at New York City when he received the email notification sound from his Droid. It was from Priya and it read:

"Dear Ranjan,

So you have decided to ignore my email. I am in NJ as well and I do have your complete contact address and phone numbers. It is very important that we meet at a convenient place. May I suggest Market Fair Mall at Lawrenceville this coming Friday at 12:00 PM. Unless of course you want me to drop by at your West Windsor residence uninvited. You know I can and I bet I will if we do not meet this Friday.

I need to know by today whether you are coming down to the suggested venue and at the suggested time.

Love Priya"

Ranjan was duly surprised at the tone and the content of the email. Certainly it was not going any easier. He was alarmed that Priya was in NJ and even more alarmed at her announcement that she had the knowledge about his whereabouts. He almost panicked at the thought of Priya landing up at his West Windsor residence. Jonali would certainly not welcome the situation and might turn into an ugly mess. He was concerned about a repeat of their early marital discord that revolved around the same Priya and he certainly was not ready to sacrifice the marital bliss he worked so hard to establish.

Will he be better of apprising Jonali about the unwanted intrusion of Priya? Surely Jonali knew him much better now than when she chanced upon the copy of the Marie Stopes paperwork at the dawn of their marital life.

“But let me find out what she wants from me now first” – he thought.

“What do you want from me?”

Ranjan sent a quick reply from his Droid.

“Do not worry. I am not going to eat you up. Just one meeting and I will never bother you again. I promise. Are you coming or not?” - the reply came almost instantly.

Obviously she was using a smart phone on the other side as well – deduced Ranjan.

Ranjan was very sure that Priya meant nothing to him anymore. Yes, there was perhaps a time when he intended on exploring her to decide whether they are compatible enough for a long term commitment. But that had fizzled out after the “Fluid Mechanics” incident when he discovered her with another man and soon after Jonali entered into his life.

So if a single meeting can seal this chapter from his past, why not go for it?

Ranjan typed a quick reply:

“Ok. I will see you at 12:00 PM on Friday at the Market Fair. Let me know where exactly.”

Within a minute the reply came from Priya:

“Park in front of PF Chang and wait for my call. Isn’t your mobile number 609-716-8647? And do carry some family pictures.”

“Boy, Isn’t she dangerous? She even knows my cell phone number”- thought Ranjan.

As Friday approached Ranjan started feeling tormented with a ton of questions in his mind – “How did she get all my information? What does she really want from me now? Is just an urge to say hi and nothing else? Will she really stop bothering me after the meeting as she promised? Is she married and does have a family now?”

“Honey, you look worried and tensed. You tossed around the whole night and did not seem to have a sound sleep that you usually do. Is everything alright?” – enquired Jonali as she planted her soft kiss on his cheek as Ranjan was about to leave his residence at the usual time on Friday morning.

“Just a little stress from work and the usual running around. I think we do need a vacation. BTW, I will be attending a conference today and will not be available at my desk. You can reach me on my cell phone and I will be back at the usual time.” – replied Ranjan as he proceeded to the car with his usual office attire – the business casual and the carry bag where he carried his work laptop.

But in reality, he had taken the Friday off. He had planned to catch some breakfast at the Dunkin Donut and spend some time in the Barnes & Nobles in Market Fair till 12:00PM when it will be the time to encounter Priya.

At 11:55 AM he parked his car in front of PF Chang and waited for Priya’s call. His cell phone rang sharp at 12:00 PM. And the phone number was a Princeton number with a 609 area code.

“Hi this is Priya. Are you driving a black BMW 350i? I can see you.”

Priya’s voice sounded the same as it did 15 years back. “Where are you?”

“Right in front of you – in the green acura SUV. I want you to follow me. Don’t worry about lunch. I got some cooked lunch for two.”

And Priya slowly started her SUV. Ranjan started following her. The green acura did have a New Jersey number plate and was fairly well maintained. Ranjan tried to catch a glimpse of Priya from behind the car, but all she could make out was that her hairstyle has definitely changed, she no more sported a curly weave but seemed to wear bun instead.

“Oh Man! Now this is like a spy thriller. What is she upto? Where is she taking me?” –wondered Ranjan.

After about ten minutes drive, Priya’s car closely followed by Ranjan’s, entered the parking lot at Mercer County Park. Mercer County Park is perhaps one of the largest and best maintained park in central Jersey with an idyllic setting and a pretty lake. In the summer the Saikias’ often visited the park for a leisurely stroll or enjoy a nice little picnic.

Priya emerged out of the car with a wide yet strange smile that he wasn’t sure whether can be attributed to her victory at having succeeded in forcing Ranjan for the meeting or to a genuine happiness resulting from meeting some one close after a gap of fifteen long years. As for Ranjan, it was a strange feeling – a strange mix of curiosity about her motive for the insisted reunion, a flashback of the raging feeling of betrayal and deceive that tormented him fifteen years back and at the same time, strangely - he could not help admitting to himself, the joy of meeting someone whom he had started to like.

With a couple of extra pounds, very little makeup, a blue jeans and a loose white top - Priya looked very much like a matured woman of mid thirties – a stark contrast to how she attempted at portraying herself in her early twenties.

“You have maintained yourself very well. Your marriage and children seem to have done wonders to you.” – remarked Priya.

“Thanks. But may I demand to know why you insisted on our meeting? What do you want from me?”- demanded Ranjan.

“Relax, my dear! I will explain everything. But let’s start with your update. How about you tell me about your wedding, your wife and the children.” – replied Priya as she led Ranjan towards a convenient bench by the lake where they could chit-chat and share the home cook meal she had carried.

“You really have nice and blessed family. Very nice looking wife who I bet loves you a lot and two very adorable kids! I am very happy for you. You deserve these. I bet you really love her as well. ” – Priya sounded really genuine as she remarked after going through Ranjan’s family album on his phone.

Ranjan nodded softly in acknowledgement and asked – “So what about you? What about your family? How did you get to know about my complete whereabouts?”

Priya mentioned that she had been in and out of various relationships after their last enounter. One year back, she divorced from from an Indian software engineer in Seattle with whom she was married for six years.

Then she decided to try a fresh beginning and moved to New Jersey – where she joined as a technical recruiter in a placement services firm that dealt with software professionals. She had no idea about Ranjan’s whereabouts when she moved to New Jersey. But then she discovered Ranjan’s curriculum-vitae in the company’s database. And it had all contact details regarding Ranjan. That’s how she gathered all contacts about him.

“I live in the Quailridge apartment complex in Plainsboro – your neighboring township. I have driven past your residence several times wishing to catcha a glimpse of your life. Many a times, I strongly resisted the urge to just appear at your door step and ring the bell just to say a hi.” – Priya continued.

“You always remained in my sub conscious as the epitome of an ideal gentleman, an epitome of kindness and love. In each of my relationships, I would invariably start comparing you with my partner and they always fell miles short. You, Mr. Ranjan Saikia, is the sole reason why none of my relationships ever lasted. Remember once I said I do not want an angel – but a flesh and blood with vices. But once you experience the cherubic touch of an angel, it is difficult to ever let go. But do not worry. I am not here to proclaim you.”


“Sorry to hear about your failed relationships. Sorry to hear that my ghost continues to dwell inside you to cause all these misery. But what can I do now? And what made you almost threaten me into meeting you today?”

Then Priya revealed something that he was not prepared for at all.

“Well, I have been diagnosed with a terminal brain cancer with only four more months to live. Tomorrow I am leaving the US for good. I want to spend my last few days at my native place in Chandigarh. But I could not leave until I express my sincere apology to you. Now that I have expressed by apology and true feeling for you – it will be much easier for me to enjoy my last days as a with heart as light as feather with no burden.”

“I am sorry to hear. I will pray for you.” – Ranjan was not sure how to react.

“Please don’t feel sorry. Just kiss me good bye.”

And they kissed. A long and passionate kiss. A kiss in which Ranjan participated without the inhibition that controlled his actions on that autumn afternoon in Calcutta fifteen years back.

Ranjan did not realize how long their the kiss continued.

“Well, I guess I was wrong about you on the chemistry part” – remarked Priya as she pulled out and turned around to walk towards her green acura.

And then she was gone. Just then Ranjan’s cell phone rang and it was Jonali.

As Priya was driving her SUV away - she picked up the phone and dialed a number and asked "Did you get clean shots?".

"Sure I did. I am gonna send them into your mailbox right away" - replied a male voice from the other side.

Soon there was a beep on her iPhone that signalled incoming email. She opened the email and opened the attachment. She flashed a smile of victory as she looked at the attached phtographs. The photographs were taken 15 minutes ago and caught Ranjan and Priya passionately engaged in the last kiss.

<<< To be continued >>>

The Reunion

“Come on Manoj – do make sure you hide your grey! I don’t want Ritika and Manisha to think I eloped with a Buddha!! And not that shirt – it shows your bulging waist line. And Anuj – promise you will be at your best manners and let mummy have fun with her old pals!”

Manoj was amused. Mondira was acting as if she wanted to introduce her newly acquired boy friend to her school friends in late teens. After all that’s what they were when they bade each other farewell with teary eyes in the central bus terminus at Mussori. It has been seventeen long years since they left their boarding school in the misty mountains of Mussori after high school with a mutual promise to keep in touch - pen a letter every once in a while. Those were the days when mobile phone and emails were not in wide circulation. Exchange of letters was frequent to start with – at least once a month – then it became once in six months – then seldom.

“Manoj could you please put the dishes in the washer and turn it on before we leave? And please make sure you clear the trash.” Mondira and Manoj often conflicted on chores associated with their suburban single family home in Plainsboro, New Jersey – which they purchased six years back when Anuj was just two. Plainsboro made a perfect location since Manoj worked for Merrill Lynch at nearby Hopewell and Mondira could take the train to New York City from nearby Princeton Junction.

“I hope we all make it before the snow kicks in” – Mondira wished as they started their three hour drive towards their reunion venue – a log cabin the three friends had rented in the Pocono Mountains in Pennsylvania for the Thanksgiving week-end. “How bad is the snow supposed to be any way?”

“Well, according to the forecast the snow is supposed to start in Poconos from tonight and continue through the Thanksgiving and the Friday. By the time the storm passes through, Pocono should get well over two and half feet. ” – replied Manoj.

“So it seems like we will be really snowed in to our cabin. Hope you hubbies and kids get along well. As for us - the Musketeers – we have plenty of things to catch up with. After all we had no clue about each other’s whereabouts for a good decade.”

It had all started with Facebook. Mondira was never much into social networking sites such as orkut or MySpace. Her job as a software engineer at Citigroup in New York City and the rigors of bringing up eight year old son Anuj plus the household chores left her with little time to spend on the web during the week days. And on the weekends she detested the idea of even touching the computer. It was Manoj who discovered Mondira’s alumni page in Facebook and got her enrolled after opening a Facebook account on her behalf. It did not take long for Mondira to get in touch with Ritika and Manisha.

“Guess what Manoj! Two of my best friends from school – with whom I have lost contact for over a decade – happen to be in the Tri State area. Ritika lives in Delaware and Manisha is in Long Island, New York. “ – Mondira had announced sometime in late August.

“That’s great! I have not met any of your school friends. You guys should plan on meeting.”

Much of air time was sacrificed between the three in last couple of months. All of them agreed upon celebrating the Thanksgiving together in a rented log cabin in the Poconos Mountain area in Pennsylvania with their families. “After all it will be wonderful to catch up those years over some good food and fine wine. The kids and the husbands will get to know each other as well. We can also do some skiing and visit the retail mall of course.”

The log cabin was rented in the beginning of September itself. It was not easy to get log cabins for rent when the ski season starts in the Poconos – which typically lasts from the end of November to March. A good deal of time was spent in deciding the food and the drink during the reunion. Thanksgiving will be in the true American style – of course the Turkey, the corn, the pumpkin and the cranberry – but the other days will be ethnic Indian. Mondira will cook Assamese cuisine for one meal, Ritika will do the Punjabi while Manisha will treat them to the Konkani recipe she recently learnt from her grandmother. As for Manoj, he was happy to learn that the other two husbands enjoyed some fine Scots Whiskey as well.

But as the Thanksgiving day came closer, it became apparent that the Tristate area will be greeted with the season’s first nor’easter. “But who cares as long as all the three families make it to the cabin before the nor’easter gains strength. Of course we need to be stocked with the food, milk and the water.”

“And drink – of course the intoxicating kind” – joked Manoj.

The drive to Poconos was fairly good despite the fact that it was the Thanksgiving eve and people were rushing to beat the nor’easter by starting early.

It was 8:00PM when the Barua’s made it to the venue of the reunion. It was a log cabin with a large family area with a very warm and inviting fire place, kitchen and three bed rooms – perfect for reunion involving three small families.

The other two families had already checked in.

“Oh my God! Can’t believe it! Look at you – kya baat hein – looking prettier and sexier.” – Ritika and Manisha welcomed with the widest grin you could see.

“Hey you two haven’t changed at all! Can’t believe meeting after seventeen years. So glad we made it happen. Helluva lot to catch up – you bet.”

Manisha’s son Roshan connected with Anuj immediately – they were both eight and were in third grade. Their common love for Harry Potter, fast cars and fighter aircrafts helped them to break the ice sooner than anyone expected. Ritika’s daughter Payal was just a year old. She has just started walking and Deepak would never let her out of sight as she decided to use her little steps to explore the curious new abode with strange grownups and two very noisy big boys. While Ritika joined Mondira and Manisha in updating each other with their life over past seventeen years – Deepak attended to the needs of Payal – change of diapers, warming the milk, attending to Payal’s tantrums.

The husbands succeeded in breaking the ice with some neat ice cubes over the soft golden liquid poured from a newly opened bottle of black label and some hot pakora’s – which Manisha had brought from home. Being a home maker, she apparently did indulge in experimenting with cuisines from around the world. The wide assortment of snacks and desserts she carried for the reunion stood as a testimony to her culinary skills. Her husband Vikram ran a very successful systems integration company and employed over four hundred professionals worldwide. He has plans of taking it public the next year. Ritika worked as a kindergarten teacher while her husband Deepak worked as a software engineer with JP Morgan Chase in Delaware.

It was well past mid night when the kids and the husbands retired in their respective rooms. The three musketeers decided to continue their chit-chat for a little longer before they retire. After all catching up on last seventeen years and revisiting those wonder years at school wasn’t something you get indulged in every day.

The Thanksgiving dinner was perfect. There was Lemon-and-Black Pepper Cheese Straw, Molasses-Glazed Turkey roasted meticulously over the old fashion oven in the log cabin, whipped maple sweet potatoes, bread and fruit stuffing, cranberry and apple chutney, caramel walnut pie, grilled salmon with choicest Italian spices and a fine bottle of vintage 1972 Chateau d’Yquem that Manisha and the family collected from the vineyards of Bordeaux in the last summer. “Roshan just loved the picture perfect sun drenched southern France” – declared Manisha.

“So who do you want to thank?”

“Of course the Facebook”-echoed the assembly in unison – “After all this grand reunion and getting to know all these wonderful people would not have been possible without Facebook.”


Manisha and Vikram along with Roshan proved to be the life of the get together. Roshan presented the clever magic tricks he has picked up while Manisha and Vikram enthralled the group with their mesmerizing bollywood duets and solos.

“Never knew you could sing so well”- exclaimed Ritika and Mondira while Manisha attributed her new found talent to Vikram and Roshan. Deepak proved to be most adapt at taking care of Payal and doing the chores such as cleanups while Manoj continued doing what he did the best – providing the group with warm ginger tea and hot chocolate every now and then.

“There is nothing like a nice chat over warm ginger tea and hot chocolate when it has been snowing for past 18 hours.”

As the husband and the kids settled down to retire, the three friends decided to continue their tete-a-tete over a newly opened bottle of Burgundian Pinot Noir – again courtesy Manisha.

“The setting is perfect for a trip down the memory lane – the flickering light and the utterly comforting warmth from the fireplace, the finest wine and the awesome company! ” – exclaimed Mondira.

“Especially when the Nor’easter is full throttle outside. I had just stepped outside to feel the air – and man! Freezing it was !” – joined Manisha as she took a sip of her Pionot Noir.

“It’s a déjà vu . Remember the hiking trip we made from school in the upper ridges of the Garhwal when we were trapped in the forest bunglow in Rudraprayag after freak snow storm.” – recollected Ritika.

“And how we chatted through the night talking about boys and what lies ahead.”

“Funny eighteen years later we are doing exactly the same thing. A déjà vu indeed” – remarked Mondira.

“Except that we have put on a few extra pounds and the boys have already happened” – chimed in Ritika.

“Well Ritika. I must tell you that Deepak is really a good father and bet a jolly good husband as well. I mean looking at the way he takes care of little Payal. I remember when Anuj was Payal’s age – believe me Manoj did not pick up Anuj in the first 6 months at all and never changed a diaper. Said he was too scared to pick up an infant. But look at Deepak!”

“Well, he is taking care of his own daughter. I do not deny that he is being good to her. But as a husband --- . By the way what do you think of Deepak?”

Mondira and Manisha were taken aback. They realized they have hardly noticed Deepak and Ritika engage in any conversation. Even when it came to the group photo, they appeared to be very reluctant in standing next to each other. When it came to attending to Payal, it was always Deepak.

“Ritika! Is everything okay between you two? You seem to be lost in something. It even seems you do not exactly enjoy being a mother. I hope I am wrong. But you appear to be very different from what you were in school. The lively and mischievous Ritika always with some tricks. What happened?” – quizzed a genuinely worried Mondira.

Ritika revealed Deepak and she grew up in the same neighborhood in Chandigarh. They were of the same age.

“He claims he was in love with me ever since his childhood. He would wait desperately for each vacation when I come home from Mussori. But I had no clue. When I was doing my graduation in Chandigarh, I became close to Rakesh – my teacher.”

She revealed the stormy relationship she shared with Rakesh who was a married man with kids and twelve years elder to her. Finally when the relationship ended, she was devastated. She knew she was a victim of Rakesh’s lust. But she was madly in love with Rakesh.

“When all was lost and I did not know where to turn, Deepak appeared and proposed me through my parents. His parents did not consent. But he was adamant and I consented. But there was no love from my end. My heart still belonged to Rakesh – although I realized Rakesh had exploited me. ”

“So what happened afterwards? I mean that’s no reason to be so indifferent towards him?” – wondered Mondira.

“Things were okay in the first few years. It all happened last year.”

Ritika’s father had suffered a heart attack and was hospitalized. She was in a state of shock and worried.

“And in spite of knowing my state of mind, Deepak forced sex upon me when I did not have a consent. I consider it as an act of rape although he may be my legal husband. Its lust not love and I have had enough of man seeking lust over love. He justifies the act as an act to console me – which I think is bullshit”- exploded Ritika - “Payal was conceived after that and when I see Payal, I remember that fateful night.”


Mondira poured another glass of Pionot Noir and walked up to the window. She peeked outside. The nor’easter was showing its full teeth and was dumping at least three inches of snow every hour.

“You know while growing up, I always felt I was an unwanted child.” – Mondira uttered softly while taking a sip from her glass.

“As you know, daddy was a business man in Singapore and mummy stayed alone in Delhi although we are basically from Guwahati. It always beats me why my parents lived apart from each other and why I had to be sent off to a boarding school in Mussori. After all Singapore with all the infrastructure and good schools is not Timbuktu that you cannot take your family. And they were not even divorced and my mother was not even working. In spite of that they lived apart from each other.” - Mondira’s voice cracked as she spoke.

“Mom and dad lived their own private lives. I always wondered if I was ever welcome in their life. Even when it came to picking up or dropping me to our school in Mussori, on quite a few occasions all my mom did was to send a car with the driver while she remained engaged in her own circle. Some vacations would go by without me meeting my dad” – paused Mondira as she took another sip from her glass.

“After hearing your case, now I wonder if a similar thing happened between my parents. My parent’s relationship had an impact on my psyche and for a long time I had difficulty in developing trust in any relationship. Me and Manoj had a stormy start because of my inability to trust relationships and I do blame my parents for it.”

By now Mondira was softly weeping. Manisha softly ran her fingers through Mondira’s long and flowing hair.

After comforting Mondira for sometime, Manisha got up and proceeded towards the door.

“The storm seems to be intensifying. We already have over two and half feet on the ground” – remarked Manisha as she opened the front door to get a feel of the nor’easter.

“You know our first child Amit passed away two years back when he was just nine.”

“Oh no!” – exclaimed Mondira and Ritika. They had no clue that Roshan was Manisha’s second child. Looking at Manisha and her family it was impossible to even comprehend that they were bestowed with such a fate. After all they seemed to be enjoying every moment.

“Amit suffered from an inherited rare genetic disorder – where few children survive beyond first ten years. There is no cure for the disorder.”

After a long pause, Manisha continued – “Roshan suffers from the same disorder. We are hoping for wonders, but chances are that he might meet the same fate. We want to cherish each and every moment we spend together.”

Moments passed by. The stillness in the room was occasionally disturbed by the flickering in the fireplace.

“The air in the room has become stuffy. Do you mind if I open the window to let some fresh air in?” – remarked Manisha as she proceeded to open the window. A chilly gust of fresh air blew in.

“Look the storm is over and it is dawn already” – observed Manisha as the faint winter sun made its appearance in the horizon.

Just then Payal, who was sleeping with Deepak, uttered the first cry of the day. Ritika went into to the room and came back with Payal softly smooched up against her chest. She gently ran her finger through Payal's tender hair, planted a warm kiss on her cheek and uttered – “Yes! A new dawn indeed!”

Conflict of Desire

"You are what your deep, driving desire is.
As your desire is, so is your will.
As your will is, so is your deed.
As your deed is, so is your destiny." - Upanishada

Conflict is what betrays your will against your desire.
Conflict is what betrayed will dictates your deed.
Conflict is the destiny dictated by a betrayed deed.

Fight Thy Will that betrays your Deep Driving Desire.

Note by author : The original phrase of Upanishada was extended by me to illustrate my personal experience of Conflict between Desire and Will